Welcome to the website of Robin Squire, novelist, screenwriter, farceur, irredeemable scribbler, sometime rejectee from BBC writersroom, diarist, jotter of notes on the backs of ticket stubs and petrol receipts, and once wrote a song for Paul McCartney that was never received by him.
robin squire

Rob began his working life as an accounting machine salesman – but found he spent more time jotting down vague ideas in greasy spoon cafés over one cup of tea till they chased him out, than actually selling such numbingly boring things as accounting machines.

Robin Squire – Author

This led somewhat inevitably to the loss of his job, till the publication by W.H. Allen & Co. of his first novel Square One (published in paperback by New English Library as The Big Scene) caused him to feel he might be able to make it as a writer (a hope later brought into question full many a time).

Other books followed, including A Portrait of Barbara, published by St. Martin’s Press in New York and Sphere Books in the UK. Rob cut his screenwriting teeth on a script directed in South Africa by Norman Cohen, which ran out of money towards the end, requiring the crew to do a moonlight flit from the Mariston Hotel in Johannesburg and regroup on the border. That he was the only one who somehow managed to get paid remains to this day a matter of sour contention. Since then he has written and rewritten numerous rewritten rewrites of rewritten versions of earlier rewrites of his screenplays during periods of bleak despair, not all of which got made, in fact hardly any did, yet the rich experience of shaping and reshaping them into their final form while battling with incipient madness and near starvation has created what might be termed a colourful and intriguing portfolio; while a film on which he was an increasingly isolated writer – which featured a rather pompous British actor who has since become internationally famous, and a brilliant classical actress who should perhaps have known better – inspired his hilarious diary-based memoir The Unmaking of a Britflick. Should anyone feel sufficiently intrigued to actually read these genuinely amazing and really quite moving (well they moved him) outpourings rather than merely gaze at the fiery cover by Nick Castle with its sizzling pic of Lynda Styan, please do click below and stop the rot!

Robin Squire’s books HERE.

 

Read extracts from Robin Squire’s books HERE

robin squire lavender days

robin squire

robin squire stolen brides

Robin Squire Paint-Grinder

Rob has been an infantry soldier in the British Army (in which he got lots of blisters and became a qualified rifle marksman), house-cleaner, bingo steward, spare parts driver, hot-dog seller, magazine journalist, car-jockey, security guard, TV extra, professional proofreader, factory paint-grinder, ditch-digger, copy-editor, and even sold encyclopaedias door to door. His recent work includes Lavender Days, a romantic novella set in Provence.

Robin Squire, BBC and Doctor Who Auton

Seeing the Beatles in live performance during a happy-go-lucky hitch-hiking trip to the South of France ‘way back before when was invented’ inspired his first novel Square One. By an extraordinary sequence of fate and synchronicity, Square One led to his joining the BBC as a reader and grader of incoming scripts in the Script Unit and a trainee script editor in the Doctor Who office.

Later, by further quirks of chance, he found himself playing the first monster to appear in colour on our television screens on Jon Pertwee’s debut as the Doctor. His memoir about the unlikely sequence of events was published in September 2014 under the title The Life and Times of a Doctor Who Dummy. The foregoing book is now available in print and Kindle formats, should anyone fancy a trip back in time without having to bother breaking into the Tardis. Chris Chapman interviews Rob by on the BBC DVD titled Mannequin Mania, issued on BluRay in June 2013.

More Whovian memories HERE

 

Read an Extract from The Life and Times of a Doctor Who Dummy HERE

 

More about The Life and Times of a Doctor Who Dummy HERE

 

Rob and Martin Dean

Robin has two lovely daughters, is a proud grandad, and currently lives in deepest Hertfordshire, from where he occasionally ventures forth to make a nuisance of himself singing with a beautiful lady in care homes and startling the residents with his Martin Dean (as opposed to Dean Martin) voice, which needs to be heard to be believed – as a fleeing visitor was heard to shout.

Favourite Quotations

The chief beauty of this book lies not so much in its literary style, or in the extent and usefulness of the information it conveys, as in its simple truthfulness. Other works may excel this in depth of thought and knowledge of human nature, but for hopeless and incurable veracity nothing yet discovered can surpass it. Jerome K. Jerome 1859-1927 in his preface to Three Men In A Boat

 

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It’s the funniest joke in the world.
George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950

 

The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.
Abraham Lincoln 1809-1865

 

In the deepy reaches of the night when all seems lost I like to dream that I’m the Man from Laramie. Me

 

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robin squire

 

For more details or media enquiries please contact my AGENT

 

Read EXTRACTS from Robin Squire’s books

 

Auton ANECDOTES